Being a Bigger Person Makes a Boring Blog

I brag that I’m a low drama dater. My main advantage I tell people on my online dating profile (which is disabled at the moment) is that I don’t make scenes. Or cry. Or raise my voice. Ever. Yep, I glide placidly around my sleepy emotions. I don’t need botox as rarely do I raise an eyebrow nor bat an eyelash.

Low drama is useful with serial dating– no reason to capsize over every piddling thing.

I’m proud that my Facebook single status has not wavered once in the past year.

And only ONE person I’ve dated in the past year ever unfriended me on Facebook (might be two after this post).

Yep.

Yawn.

While I’m not for manufacturing drama out of every little thing she or he says, I do have openings for a good rant– one that is vicious, funny, and satisfying.  Isn’t that what’s good about being single- the phone calls to friends for the pre-game warm up and the post-game analysis? Or the embarrassing status update. I am denying myself great pleasure by being the bigger person.

I’m tired of owning my part in a conflict. Tired of telling people how great everybody I date is. My positivity is now accompanied by facial tics. And brittle smiles. Aftermaths of dating experiences are starting to mimic symptoms of PTSD. It’s true that nobody can be THAT happy about dating.

At a party, I was talking to a contributor to the hilarious dating blog Shmitten Kitten about what it’s like to write about guys they’ve dated. She said they have some boundaries around writing about people they know, but inevitably there have been some awkward moments. I don’t think anybody I’ve dated has read my recent blogs, which gives me more latitude for revelation here since they are squatting on my Facebook and Twitter.

So in closing, I will rant. Ahem.

Thanks for messaging me that you weren’t dating me, but someone else through a Facebook status update.  And no, I’m not interested in changing our relationship to Facebook “friends with benefits.” After all, those cutesy pics of you and your new girlfriend show up in my newsfeed.

Dude, I get it- you aren’t that into me. But, I’m not your groupie. Stop treating me like one.  xoxo.

There.  I said it.

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2 responses to “Being a Bigger Person Makes a Boring Blog

  1. Is it wrong that I equate “being a bigger person” to “not putting out” (in general, i.e. emotionally, mentally, and all that other awesomeness)? I hope not! There is no absolute need in society for drama to be manufactured outside of the world of acting (or business, in some cases) on a regular basis.
    And an extra shoutout goes to the chap who is the subject of the rant; reminds me of a stereotypical frat boy at the downtown brunch. Yikes.

  2. In response to this: http://xkcd.com/601/
    Someone I follow on Twitter posted this about a week ago (following a breakup) before you did. I was surprised to see it again but in another light.
    Confession: I’ve never been on a date in my life. Ever. To borrow a phrase from 30 Rock; however, I am a “sexually frightened know-it-all.”
    That person had just gotten out of a relationship and posted this comment to sum up how much of a game love is. You described it as “the reason why [you] stopped dating.” (As a joke, albeit, but I am reading too much into it.)
    Upon seeing it again, I gave off one big blurg. I’ve never experienced dating before and I certainly hope that it’s not entirely all about the question of “putting out” from my previous post. This week, I pondered the awkward question of whether or not I should start dating casually or whatever, and then I come across this comic. Is it a whole lot of nothing to be gained from dating and relationships other than adding more weight to your heart?

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