Patrick swayze is alive , THANK GOD , just a rumor ,
That was Rian Thal’s last tweet, her last words broadcasted on Twitter. The next day, on June 27th, she and a companion were murdered at the Piazza at Schmidts in Northern Liberties neighborhood of Philadelphia. Her death haunts me because the intimate details of her life were broadcasted all over the news. And the surveillance video of her moments before her death is etched in my memory.
Over the weekend, I perused Rian Thal’s Twitter to see again her last tweet. Her account @rthal is still active with the Twittascope telling her daily fortune with cheer and optimism. Aha, I thought, this proves that horoscopes are nonsense. Unless angels have new romantic options or employment opportunities to plot.
And then I had a morbid thought. What if my trip to the Tribeca Grand Hotel in NYC to see Lemonade, Free Energy, and Dave P would end in tragedy. What if the big city swallowed me whole? What would be my last words? So I left a simple tweet, one brief message among the 1,000+ of sheer nonsense that my grieving family would have to remember me by.
It’s hard to feel lonely because the love of my family is ever present. And I have some great friends too. Good night Twitter.
The tweet was mainly a lie, as I suppose last words often can be. While the love of my family is palpable, my loneliness is the thing that’s truly omnipresent. But I didn’t want to be a downer. I didn’t want to open a can of worms when I wasn’t there to explain things to my family. The great friends line was really an inside joke– it was more of a wish than a reality. Right at the moment, I am in transition which has meant that many of my friends have fallen away and my new friendships are still tender and fragile. And why am I saying goodnight to Twitter? I wasted precious character space on saying farewell to social media.
But looking back on my “last” tweet, I have to laugh. Really, I was being melodramatic. A group of my ex best friends were together celebrating a wedding that I was not invited. I had been expelled from their group several months ago. So, I was feeling a little sad. And lonely.
However, I am thinking about making real last words, which involve becoming vulnerable and doing more truth telling to people. Simply telling people how challenging the last year has been would be a good place to start.